Attitude is everything.
Seriously, it seems like such a small thing but it can affect every part of your life. I've been noticing you seem very angry lately. Angry at your sisters, angry at your dad, angry at Trike, angry at Callie, angry at the cats, angry at the chores, but more importantly you seem angry at yourself. It's that last one that concerns me.
When you went away to Cottey, you were a happy and confident young woman. At Cottey you made great grades, some life long friends but you lost your confidence and replaced it with a bitter angry-ness. I'm on your side, I only want the best for you. I want you to be happy and take pride in yourself.
I understand you are an adult-19 years old. As an adult living in a home with 2 other adults and 2 children, I need you to remember that respect is a two way street. I hear you asking for respect of your time, things, etc. I know the last week has been hard with my leaving and you filling in the gaps but nothing that was asked of you was unreasonable when you are an adult. When you are asked to pitch in to household tasks, you need to keep your attitude in check-rolling your eyes, huffing and continuing to sit on the couch does not convey respect for the persons you are living with.
During the next few weeks, some changes will be made.
- The littles are going to have a general chore list. No television, electronics or outdoor playtime until ALL items are accomplished. You will be receiving a list of your own as a resident of our home-you will be expected to help with things like laundry, bathroom cleaning, vacuuming, and yardwork. Nothing out of the ordinary or more than anyone else. Think of it as you being our roommate. When you move into your condo I'm sure you'll expect a roommate to share in those tasks, correct?
- Meal times-preparation, eating and cleanup-will be a phone free zone. There will be a basket placed on top of the entertainment center-if your phone RINGS because someone is calling it can be checked otherwise it won't be touched.
- You need to treat your dad and I as equals. Sure I get frustrated at him from time to time as he does me-but we both work hard each and every day for you. I know you think you have been on your own and independent for two years but actually, we have still been (financially) supporting you. Could you have paid for your education thus far on your own? Remember Dad tends to treat people the way he is treated so when he is sassy to you it is generally a reflection of how you have been to him. Be aware of the example you are setting for your sisters-throwing your phone across the room because your irritated at one of us is not acceptable.
- Before I get back from Conway on Wednesday, I expect you to call Diana and/or visit with Jeff. I know the money you are making from Trike seems like a lot but it will not go very far. You saw what your schedule is at UofA this fall and know working around your school hours will be trying. Make all you can this summer and be prepared.
- We want you to have friends and go out with them. What we ask in return is that your input as a roommate is done and that you are respectful of the fact our alarm goes off at 6 a.m. so Dad can go to work for us. It would be courteous if you would give us a heads up before you're walking out the door and an general idea of when you'll be back.
- Lastly and most important, have pride in yourself. Before you go out, stand back and look at yourself-if you saw yourself on the street what would your impression be? You are a smart, beautiful and talented young lady-a woman. Embrace your feminine and be proud of it. Be observant-when you see a woman wearing ripped shirts and a sports bra is that someone you want to know, someone you want to emulate, something you would strive to be?
Darling girl, I love you. I'm here for you anytime. I always see you as a heap load, bundle of Potential and Possibilities!! You have so many wonderful gifts to offer, you are smart, talented and yes, beautiful. You are loved beyond measure and we want to insure that your roots continue to grow strong and deep so when the winds of life blow you can stand firm and not blow over at the first storm life throws at you!!
Grab you a piece of paper and a sharpie, write these four phrases on it and tape it above your head so it's the first thing you see in the morning and the last at night.
- I let go of my anger so I can see clearly.
- I choose to see my family as a gift, I love them even if they don't understand me completely.
- I believe in my ability to change the world, even if on a small scale.
- I fully approve and am fulfilled with who I am.
Love,
Mom
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