Monday, March 24, 2014

One.



My dearest sweet Anna girl,                                                                   3.24.2014

Good morning…it is a beautiful day, full of bright possibilities.  I’m sorry if I’ve been a negligent mom the last seven weeks-until yesterday I don’t think I realized just how sick I’ve been or for how long.  The clarity and energy I have now are amazing, possibly even better than before.
Enough about me-this letter is for you.  I really enjoyed our time together over spring break, every time I see you it is like an affirmation of the amazing woman you are blossoming into becoming.  Yes, blossoming because I believe until we die we never fully discover who exactly we are.
          I want you to know I love you.
                   I want you to know I love you.
                             I want you to know I love YOU!!
I was nineteen once.  I was full of emotions, hormones, fear, self doubt, dreams, ambitions, hopes, concerns, everything your life is made of at exactly this moment I was there with one exception-my Mom didn’t talk to me or share things with me.  She simply berated my decisions, and made me feel even worse than I did.  I never want to do that to you.  I instead want to constantly be that breath of air that lifts you up when you think you’re going to collapse.  I want to be there encouraging you, helping you go forward with your life and hopefully avoid some of the pitfalls and mistakes I once made.
Those feelings of doubt and self loathing that I see in your eyes break my heart.  You don’t have to say anything because it is like a reflection of me and I want you to know you are not broken, you are not less than, you are not dumb, ugly or stupid.  You my dear are normal.  You are trying to find yourself and your future.  Every choice you make is a step in the right direction—we learn from our mistakes and our failures just like we do from our successes!
Oops, I am almost to run out of page and I vowed that I would keep this to only one page so for today my sweet girl, I want you to turn this piece of paper over and write three things you LOVE about Anna.  It can be your ugly toes or your sweet smile, anything as long as it is just about YOU.

I love you,
Mom

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