Bonus

Dear Aaron and Anna,

I'm setting at the computer this afternoon, looking for a blog I'm positive I must've written.  No where could I find it in my posts or drafts.  Then I felt a tinge of guilt because my sweet girl says, "Mamma you haven't blogged in a long time," when it hit me that I just haven't been able to.  I've been so caught up in the crazy that I haven't taken time to do my "therapeutic" blogging.  My blog today is dedicated to you, a special young man who has found himself becoming intertwined with our family as often happens when you have a 20-something daughter in college.

You may or may not realize that since my sweet Angel girl was born I have worked hard to be a different kind of Mom.  One who sprinkles her children with wisdom and advice.  One who loves fiercely and isn't afraid to show it.  By extension you're about to be sprinkled because you have been prayed for longer than you can imagine by me.

You are a smart, talented person.  I know because she thinks you're pretty special.  I've really enjoyed hearing about your preparations for your upcoming recital!  I know you have spent hours planning, practicing, planning and practicing some more, inviting people and striving to create the perfect experience for everyone!  Relax, step back and breathe.  The hard part has been done and it is your time to shine.  You have the ability.  Having a daughter in theatre, I can honestly say that when you are on that stage you will shine-you will play from the heart and we will all catch a glimpse of that passion that has brought you this far.

Hope you have a great evening, a wonderful day tomorrow and can enjoy showing off your love on Saturday!

Love,
DanaAlexa

Three.

My dearest sweet Anna girl,                                                                                6.16.2014

Attitude is everything.

Seriously, it seems like such a small thing but it can affect every part of your life.  I've been noticing you seem very angry lately.  Angry at your sisters, angry at your dad, angry at Trike, angry at Callie, angry at the cats, angry at the chores, but more importantly you seem angry at yourself.  It's that last one that concerns me.

When you went away to Cottey, you were a happy and confident young woman.  At Cottey you made great grades, some life long friends but you lost your confidence and replaced it with a bitter angry-ness.  I'm on your side, I only want the best for you.  I want you to be happy and take pride in yourself.

I understand you are an adult-19 years old.  As an adult living in a home with 2 other adults and 2 children, I need you to remember that respect is a two way street.  I hear you asking for respect of your time, things, etc.  I know the last week has been hard with my leaving and you filling in the gaps but nothing that was asked of you was unreasonable when you are an adult.  When you are asked to pitch in to household tasks, you need to keep your attitude in check-rolling your eyes, huffing and continuing to sit on the couch does not convey respect for the persons you are living with. 

During the next few weeks, some changes will be made.

1. The littles are going to have a general chore list.  No television, electronics or outdoor playtime until ALL items are accomplished.  You will be receiving a list of your own as a resident of our home-you will be expected to help with things like laundry, bathroom cleaning, vacuuming, and yardwork.  Nothing out of the ordinary or more than anyone else.  Think of it as you being our roommate.  When you move into your condo I'm sure you'll expect a roommate to share in those tasks, correct?
2. Meal times-preparation, eating and cleanup-will be a phone free zone.  There will be a basket placed on top of the entertainment center-if your phone RINGS because someone is calling it can be checked otherwise it won't be touched.
3. You need to treat your dad and I as equals.  Sure I get frustrated at him from time to time as he does me-but we both work hard each and every day for you.  I know you think you have been on your own and independent for two years but actually, we have still been (financially) supporting you.  Could you have paid for your education thus far on your own?  Remember Dad tends to treat people the way he is treated so when he is sassy to you it is generally a reflection of how you have been to him.  Be aware of the example you are setting for your sisters-throwing your phone across the room because your irritated at one of us is not acceptable.
4. Before I get back from Conway on Wednesday, I expect you to call Diana and/or visit with Jeff.  I know the money you are making from Trike seems like a lot but it will not go very far.  You saw what your schedule is at UofA this fall and know working around your school hours will be trying.  Make all you can this summer and be prepared.
5. We want you to have friends and go out with them.  What we ask in return is that your input as a roommate is done and that you are respectful of the fact our alarm goes off at 6 a.m. so Dad can go to work for us.   It would be courteous if you would give us a heads up before you're walking out the door and an general idea of when you'll be back.
6. Lastly and most important, have pride in yourself.  Before you go out, stand back and look at yourself-if you saw yourself on the street what would your impression be?  You are a smart, beautiful and talented young lady-a woman.  Embrace your feminine and be proud of it.  Be observant-when you see a woman wearing ripped shirts and a sports bra is that someone you want to know, someone you want to emulate, something you would strive to be? 

Darling girl, I love you.  I'm here for you anytime.  I always see you as a heap load, bundle of Potential and Possibilities!!  You have so many wonderful gifts to offer, you are smart, talented and yes, beautiful.  You are loved beyond measure and we want to insure that your roots continue to grow strong and deep so when the winds of life blow you can stand firm and not blow over at the first storm life throws at you!!

Grab you a piece of paper and a sharpie, write these four phrases on it and tape it above your head so it's the first thing you see in the morning and the last at night.

• I let go of my anger so I can see clearly.
• I choose to see my family as a gift, I love them even if they don't understand me completely. 
• I believe in my ability to change the world, even if on a small scale.
• I fully approve and am fulfilled with who I am.

I love you my sweet girl and am oh so crazy blessed to see you sweet smile every day this summer!!!

Love, 
Mom

Two.

My dearest sweet Anna girl,                                                           3.28.2014

Good Morning!  The sun is shining this morning and it seems almost anything may be possible.  As most mornings, I woke up today with you on my mind.  I’m so proud of you and your effort to get moving this spring, it is a wonderful thing to do just for you and the funny thing is before you told me about it the other day, I already had this message in mind just for you.

What I had planned to say was every day take five minutes to just move.  You can sing to the crazy “touch down every morning” song, do some sit ups, walk around the block, go up and down the stairs…what ever just make it about you.  I think you’ll be surprised that you will come to cherish those five minutes; more than cherish you’ll covet them.  You’ll want it to be just a minute longer because you will find that in those five minutes you are concentrating on YOU.  Not just building muscles in your body but freeing your mind.  We often neglect our minds and just do the same tasks over and over on autopilot but how often do we take five minutes to allow ourselves to reflect-on our day, a conversation we’ve had, a dream we’re chasing or what we’d like to be.

Remember, confidence is beautiful…this time each day is not about your size, it’s not about your weight, it’s about being confident about who you are and allowing the world to see exactly how beautiful you are!!  Your challenge for today is to get out that awesome calendar and your red sharpie and every day this coming week I want to see you put a giant red X on every day as you take just 5 minutes to move and think about you!!

You are amazing and I am oh so crazy blessed to call you my daughter.  Have a fabulous week and remember…

I love you,

Mom

One.

My dearest sweet Anna girl,                                                                   3.24.2014

Good morning…it is a beautiful day, full of bright possibilities.  I’m sorry if I’ve been a negligent mom the last seven weeks-until yesterday I don’t think I realized just how sick I’ve been or for how long.  The clarity and energy I have now are amazing, possibly even better than before.

Enough about me-this letter is for you.  I really enjoyed our time together over spring break, every time I see you it is like an affirmation of the amazing woman you are blossoming into becoming.  Yes, blossoming because I believe until we die we never fully discover who exactly we are.

          I want you to know I love you.

                   I want you to know I love you.

                             I want you to know I love YOU!!

I was nineteen once.  I was full of emotions, hormones, fear, self doubt, dreams, ambitions, hopes, concerns, everything your life is made of at exactly this moment I was there with one exception-my Mom didn’t talk to me or share things with me.  She simply berated my decisions, and made me feel even worse than I did.  I never want to do that to you.  I instead want to constantly be that breath of air that lifts you up when you think you’re going to collapse.  I want to be there encouraging you, helping you go forward with your life and hopefully avoid some of the pitfalls and mistakes I once made.

Those feelings of doubt and self loathing that I see in your eyes break my heart.  You don’t have to say anything because it is like a reflection of me and I want you to know you are not broken, you are not less than, you are not dumb, ugly or stupid.  You my dear are normal.  You are trying to find yourself and your future.  Every choice you make is a step in the right direction—we learn from our mistakes and our failures just like we do from our successes!

Oops, I am almost to run out of page and I vowed that I would keep this to only one page so for today my sweet girl, I want you to turn this piece of paper over and write three things you LOVE about Anna.  It can be your ugly toes or your sweet smile, anything as long as it is just about YOU.

I love you,

Mom

Why sprinkle?

My number one angel girl is in college.  Being nineteen is such a difficult time.  Things seem so big, so scary, so real...I remember being there.  So in this blog, I'm going to try and give my kids a little sprinkling of what I wish I'd had back then.

I love you,
Mom